Ishmaelskyes

Ruthless headmaster and wretched boy

Sex:	Male
Orientation:	switch
Location:	London
Age:	61 years
Sponsoring:	I don't expect money
Marital status:	married
I'm looking for a:	woman
Height:	5ft 10in (178 cm)
Weight:	14st 0lb (88.9 kg)
Preferred spanking:	very hard
Last login:	4 months ago

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I love SM that hurts; if I'm being punished I want to be scared of the cane; if I'm punishing I want the next six to be a challenge between dread and unholy desire, every orgasm paid for very dearly and never, ever truly deserved. I'm switch, not dilute.

To switch is so common as to be the standard default - most people switch, even people that you think don't switch do switch, even people whose public persona is the mega ultra dom/me do switch, they just don't tell everyone about it. No reason on God's Fair Earth that they should have to, but the general reason they don't is that it might inflame the masturbatory neuroses of the psychologically unwell that can't cope with the idea that Master or Mistress sometimes gets off on the same stuff they do.

I suppose I ought to mention first - to try to dissuade charges of negativity - that there's lots of stuff I like - I love cats, London, Shakespeare, haggis, Dr Who (until Matt Smith appeared), my job, making stuff with wood, the Thames, and training at a boxing gym in Peckham. I love the Isle of Man, and the smell of black powder in the morning.

I like making movies, canals, forests, steam railways, stilton, and real ale.

But...

There is no apostrophe in a plural. The word for a number of people that masturbate, for instance is 'wankers' not 'wanker's'. 'Wanker's' implies that the wanker possesses something, and has to be attended by the word for the thing possessed, like 'cramp' to wit 'wanker's cramp'. 'Wanker's' can also mean 'wanker is' as in the case of 'that wanker's looking bloody stupid on account of his piss poor punctuation'.

I have been doing this for over 30 years, and I'm fast coming to the conclusion that Victor Meldrew was a model of moderation and tolerance. When I started all this was called SM, there weren't any munches and the police were still after us. Great days, not least because I was young, and I hadn't found out how many things about The Scene annoy me, not least the ephemeral nature of physical beauty.

People were full of questions then like 'Am I really dominant?', 'What's the right way to give a spanking?', 'How should I address my mistress?', and even then the answer seemed bloody obvious 'Do whatever feels good! It's only sex for goodness sake!', and I looked forward to the day of Enlightenment, when this great and bleedin' obvious Truth would be known to all, but it still hasn't happened - three decades later I'm still hearing the same stuff. It's like the same bloody conversation has been on a repeat loop for 30 years.

I really dislike the self-aggrandizing practice of capitalising words like Me and Mine. Even Donald fucking Trump and the Pope admit sufficient humility to use lower case, so why the hell the ability to give jets to someone's orgasms by whipping them should make someone so goddam important is completely beyond me, it's not as if you're bringing about world peace or curing cancer. All the rest is just shouting 'Look at me, I'm important' because you reckon yourself a better than average lay.

I guess the thing is, I've never been in a relationship with anyone that would do the capital letter thing, so whoever has memoed me that has done it has been kinda assuming my acceptance of their little power game quite without my consent, and acceptance is on the way to compliance. I'd have said something, but I was brought up not to.

I've never appreciated the 'I am a Goddess' thing either; I've never met anyone that really acquired omnipotence or omniscience by putting on a pair of big boots and picking up a whip. Sorry, if you can't part the Red Sea or talk out of a burning bush, you're just as mortal as the rest of us. Even Helen of Troy didn't try to pretend that she was on a par with Aphrodite, Artemis, Diana and the rest of the gang up there on Olympus, because (ship-launchingly gorgeous though she was) she was quite sensible enough to know that hubris attracts Nemesis like flies to jam doughnuts, and anyway, it's vulgar.

(I blame male subs; if so many of them didn't start with the 'We're not worthy! We're not worthy!' shit with every woman that's got sufficient confidence and gumption to dish out a good hiding, the perspective index of The Scene might be a bit more psychologically healthy)

I've no interest at all in D/s, and I think that we're in danger of allowing that which seems (to me anyway) quite loopy behaviour to become the desired state to which we are all being invited to aspire - akin to the status previously ascribed to really regular churchgoers with their names on the flowers rota, who read the lesson, served as sidesmen and embroidered kneelers. SM (or that watery American version, BDSM) is kinky sex not religion, and you don't get any better at it by being unable to leave your bedroom persona where it belongs. It certainly doesn't get you to Heaven, so don't come the Grand Pooh Bah to me in the Co-op - or Katisha - especially if I know your name to be Stuart (in both cases). Not doing D/s does not make me any less an SMer than those that do.

All of the technique and engineering stuff aside, the qualities that make you good at this are good manners and enthusiasm, with a side order of compassion and empathy; being really sadistic or ultra absorbent or very pretty with a bullwhip are great, but if you aren't deep down nice, nice people probably won't like you, not clever ones anyway, certainly not for long. Simple really.

I've added a word to the English Language - it's not much of an achievement, because there are millions of words, but I am proud of it - Dominatrix Toxaemia; if you ever hear that in conversation, I made that up - me - I gave that to English, along with Non Factotive Melancholia and Egocentrica Dominosis, just to show I'm not sexist or anything, but that's another thing I really can't stick, people that behave like twats (and so probably are twats) in order to display their dominance. Who, I ask you, wants to be dominated by a twat? Some submissive people just aren't fussy enough, that's my experience.

(The spectacle of a rubinesque woman doing the big-eyed simper and 'I'll have to ask my Dom' - by whom she means the graceless, mannerless bore and boor in the ageing leather waistcoat is one no good Christian should have to bear)

I was an activist in the 90s and I sued the police to get my stuff back, when it was nabbed as 'evidence' in the Whiplash Raid of October 12th 1994. That was the last big attempt by the law to chase us all back into the closet, and probably a contributing factor to the freedoms we all take for granted today, so if I seem to get a little terse sometimes when people on websites start pontificating about what the rules and mores of The Scene should be (ie how they think such rules ought to change), it's generally because I can't remember them being on The Scene much before 1996, and I wonder who the hell has told them they've got the wisdom or the right. I know it's the Scene equivalent of expecting assertions like 'my father lost a leg at Galipolli' to see off dissension, but one of the features of age is discovering why old people do that.

Kinky stuff that's not covered in the ticky boxes; gloves (including boxing gloves), boots (including DMs).

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